Campaign 2020: A Eulogy

Remembering a life

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On August 28, 2019, the grand campaign to elect a champion to represent M’urricans’ fight against the Demon King came to a halt for a moment of silence. A priest of the Demo’crats stood before the altar and intoned “Today we remember Kirsten Gillibrand, taken too soon from us in this fight. We will all remember how well she advanced the rights of underrepresented classes and races here, and regret only that she is no longer with us in order to fight for us.”

Then Gillibrand stood up from the crowd and said “Wait a minute, what’s going on here?”

“All we can do,” the priest continued, “is carry on her vision in her memory. It’s what she would have wanted.”

“I’m right here!” Gillibrand protested. “I’m just withdrawing my name from consideration.”

“Sometimes I can still hear her voice,” said the priest.


Champion Roster

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